There is Always a Way

I am having one of those day where I want to eat everything in sight!  I ate breakfast and then some of the kids breakfast.  And then a snack.  And then lunch.  And then another snack.  And another snack.  Now, I haven’t eaten anything for a couple hours and I am ABSOLUTELY STARVING.  I am starting to get cranky, light headed, and overall “weird” feeling.  My stomach is cramping up and growling.  Mark is cooking in the kitchen and the smell of the food just makes the stomach cramps worse!  I am so going to overeat at dinner.  Ok, I will try not to.  But, darn I hate when I get this hungry!  RRRRROOOOOOAAAARRRR!!!!

I just wrapped up 3 miles, which makes my weekly total 20 miles.  That is the most I have ever run in a week!  Before this week, my highest week was 18 miles.  That was back in November.  Two weeks ago, my total was 15 miles.  But, usually my average is less than 10 miles each week.  Or much less…..  I definitely can be a “binge runner”.  I get in the miles when I can.

Which leads me to something I have been thinking about.  My intention is to follow a training plan for my half marathon in May.  Weekly mileage per the training plan is anywhere from 17 miles to 31 miles.  I fear that I am not going to be able to get in the miles with my “crazy life”.  I just don’t always have 2 hours to kill to get a long run in. 

It is definitely going to be a challenge.  I am just going to have to do the best that I can.  I know that I can finish 13 miles.  I am pretty sure I am not going to be completely dead at the end.  But, I would like to train as hard as I can so that I can have a time to be proud of (for me).  I know that I “should” just have only a goal to finish the race.  But, I would like to have a goal time of 2 hours.  I am not sure if it is attainable or not, but that is what I am thinking about.  That is the time that is in my head.  I do best when I push myself.  I like to push myself.   That is a 9:09 pace.  Hmmm…we will see.

Run tonight:  3 miles, 27:10
.75 @ 6mph, .25 @ 7mph, .75 @ 6.5mph, .25 @ 7.5mph, .5 @ 7mph, .25 @ 6mph, and .25 @ 8 mph.  Why does running on a treadmill always seem so much harder?
Calories today = I have no idea.
Water intake = at least 24 oz.

On myfitnesspal.com, I saw that I had about 850 calories left for the day.  It is 1 o’clock, so that was pretty sweet.  Especially since yesterday I went grossly over my “allowed” amount.
But, then I remembered that I hadn’t logged my exercise yet.  Now I have 1729 calories left for the day.  Yeah…I don’t think I am going to consume that much, thank you very much!  There has to be something wrong with that logic…even if you were just maintaining weight.
Whatever, I am going to go eat some ice cream now….

So, the kids did not sleep in this morning.  Charly came in my room about 5:30 and I laid there for half an hour as she kept asking me to get up.  Yeah, I know…I am a cruel mom.  But, I am sure she appreciated the cuddle time, lol.  Aydan and Peyten got up about 7. 

We woke up to a nice layer of snow outside.  It is quite beautiful.  I love that freshly fallen snow look.  So clean and perfect. 

I have full day of NOTHING planned!  That is right.  I have almost no obligations today.  Crazy.  I am hoping to get a good run in at some point.  I may take a trip to Menards to get some new bathroom fixtures.  Not sure though.  Right now the kids are playing and I am drinking some coffee.  Pretty soon I will get dressed and see where the day takes us!

Happy Saturday everyone!

The kids woke me up at 5:30…not so yeah!!
Aydan’s diaper leaked, so I had to start a load of laundry first thing this morning. 
I washed all his bedding and went ahead and did Charly’s too.
I made the kids breakfast - whole wheat toast and scrambled eggs. 
They actually all ate pretty decent, which almost never happens.
I made Charly’s lunch for school.
Mark took Charly to school.
I cleaned up the living room and organized a bunch of the toys. 
I made Aydan’s bed with the clean sheets.
I am just waiting on Charly’s to finish washing.
Mark isn’t feeling good today, so I told him to go back to bed for a while.
I put a movie in for the kids, hoping they will be quiet so Mark can get some rest.
They aren’t watching the movie, but they are playing quietly with toys.
I am rather sleepy right now.  I could probably go to sleep.
Friday is always a long day. 
Work all day.  Dinner with fam.  Kids go to bed.  I go clean at the church.
I am thinking about making a late night trip to Meijer to buy some veggies. 
We will see if that actually happens.

I lied. 

2 miles.  20 minutes.  1484 calories.  80oz of water.

I was going to have a rest day, but the urge got the better of me.  Plus, I realized that Friday’s are extremely hard for me to get a run in since I work all day and then work at night for a couple hours after the kiddos go to bed. 
So, I thought it best to get a run in while I could.  The knee was a little achy, but nothing worth mentioning.  So, why did I?  I don’t know.  That should be the last of the knee talk.
I started at a 5 and bumped it up to a 6 after a quarter mile.  Still felt good.  (notice I didn’t mention the knee?  yeah…) After .75 at a 6, I bumped it up to a 7 for a quarter.  Then back down to 6 for .5.  Then at 8 for a quarter and then finished with 6 for a quarter. 
Does that all add up to 2 miles?  I hope so.  If not, you get my drift.  I mixed it up a little.  I even got some shadow boxing in. 
Does anyone else shadow box while running on the treadmill?  I find it helps keep my core tight and of course keeps me entertained while the treadmill goes on and on, endlessly. 
And “shadow box” is a loose term…I basically throw punches in front of me and uppercuts as well…not sure if that is considered shadow boxing or not.  Whatever. 
If I was in a gym, I probably wouldn’t shadow box because I would just feel silly.  Although, in a gym, I would have plenty of “people watching” to keep me entertained.  A favorite past time.  I wouldn’t need the shadow boxing. 
I finished up the work out with 60 crunches and 10 push ups.  I should be able to do more than 10 push ups, but I am working on that.  I am also trying to do them correctly from the get go.  Knees and head both up.  Makes for much harder push ups…

I feel like I am rambling, I apologize.  No, I don’t…its my blog.

No run for me tonight.  My knee has been achy throughout the day today, so I think I will just give it a rest.  Back at it tomorrow….

4 miles.  48 minutes.  1 Pan Am episode.  Hardly any knee pain.  Score.
Total calories for the day = 1302
Total water intake for the day = 96 oz
If only every day could be this good.  Aye…what’s the fun in that.

AND I got four loads of laundry (mine and the kids) done AND put away.  Huge accomplishment.  Huge.

Oh, that reminds me of a conversation between Aydan and Grammie and Papa.  They are going to be in Florida around Aydan’s birthday and will probably miss his birthday party. 
I said: “oh, since they can’t make it to the party, they should bring you back a BIG present!”
Aydan says:  “No, they should bring me a li….HUGE present!” lol

Which then reminds me of something else Aydan did, which in no way will translate to a blog post, but I am going to go ahead anyway. 

On Monday night he was in the living room.  We were saying our good bye’s to the people in our small group.  At one point, something happened.  I think Aydan’s head bonked in to Peyten’s head and he hurt his chin.  (apparently Peyten was fine)
He came over to me upset pretty bad and I couldn’t understand him to know what was going on.  I just knew he hurt his chin because he was holding it. 
I was holding him and consoling him and the next thing I knew, he popped his head up and his facial expression is so hard to describe.  His eyes were squinting and wide all at the same time.  And he blurted something out that came out so fast, high pitched and slurred, I couldn’t tell what in the heck he said.  Mark and Cindy were right there with us and they were baffled as well.  It was just the oddest sound I have ever heard come out of his mouth.
He said it again with the same expression on his face.  I couldn’t tell if he was hurting so bad and he was trying to tell me what happened or what. 
It turns out that the expression and tone of his voice was probably from some pain, but more importantly excitement.  He was saying: “Max and Ruby is about to be on!!”. 

The whole situation had Mark, me and Cindy cracking up for quite a while.  I hope when I read this blog post in the future I can recall the expression on his face.  Priceless.

I feel like a broken record…so let’s just assume from now on that each of my posts begin with “I was pretty tired last night…”.  I mean, if I wasn’t tired at the end of each day, I would say that I did something wrong!

So….
I gave the kids a bath and put them to bed.  Mark was working late, so it was just me and the kiddos.  My knee had started being a little achy late in the day.  Nothing crazy, just a little achy.  I didn’t think much of it. 
I finished up some work while I watched Biggest Loser.  I was going to hop on the treadmill during the second hour of Biggest Loser…and then realized that it was only an hour long this week!  Aye. 
After the show was over, I sat and stared at the TV.  I was immobile.  I felt like a zombie.  I knew I wanted to get up and go run, but my body just wouldn’t move.  And I knew I shouldn’t lay down because that would be the end of it.  I watched one episode of the Big Bang Theory and then I got my butt in gear. 

I started up the mp3 player and turned the treadmill on.  About 3 strides in to the run, my knee just screamed in pain.  I was thinking, “are you kidding me?!?”.  I dropped the speed down to a 4.  I tried to keep my leg in line with my body and I tried not to bend the knee too much.  During the first mile I walked at a 3, twice.  Just for long enough to let the pain ease up.  Then I would bring it back up to a 4.  After the first mile, the knee was still hurting, but the pain wasn’t excruciating anymore.  It was much more bearable.  At 1.5 miles, I felt like I was doing pretty good and I turned it up to a 5 and that was a bad idea.  It was like my knee would scream at me and say “what are you doing!?”  Back down to a 4.  4mph was hard for me.  I am used to an average of 6mph.  Occasionally I will bump it down to 5 and then I will bump it up to 7 or 8 at times.  4mph just makes time go by sooooo slow. (and time is already slow on a treadmill)  But, I got my heart rate up a bit and got 2 miles in.  Much better than nothing. 

I am glad that I got on and ran through the pain.  Next run should be even better. 

Today my knee has no pain, as I knew it would.  We will see how the day goes.  Run tonight?  I sure hope so.

Goals for today (besides running):

1.  Hit the dollar store to get dish soap, bottle scrubber, and a new pair of readers. (Mine cracked last night and are now being held together with tape…can’t complain much for 5 bucks a pair or less)

2.  Stop in to the post office and buy stamps.  Then I can mail my registration form for the 5k I am running on Feb 4th! (no online registration)

3.  Laundry.  Oh….I gotta go switch my loads now.

…..10 minutes pass…..

4.  No really Kari, stopped getting distracted and go switch the laundry!

5.  Clean the house.  Ha ha…no, that is not on my goal list today.  Other than the usual pick up, just not in to it today.

6.  Catch up on work, clean out email in-boxes, organize work load, etc.

And now, I go freshen up my tea and plow….

Breakfast at 7am - Cheerios, milk, and banana

Snack at 9:30am - Whole wheat toast with apricot jam and tea.

Still hungry….

Lunch?  Where are you?!? :)

….it is “ask each question five times” day.  I didn’t get the memo…my kids did. :P

Yesterday was one of those non stop kind of days.  Not much down time at all.  Work was work.  It started early and kept me busy all day. 
And then we had a great time with our small group.  The kids all played well and the adults had great chat time. 
I had fun making dinner for everyone.  We take turns making dinner and this week was Mark and my turn.  I made pork loin, mashed potatoes, roasted asparagus, salad, and bread and butter.  And for dessert we had chocolate chip cookies, chocolate banana cream pie, and banana cream pie.  At one point I thought I might have made too much food, but it turns out that was not the case.  I hardly have any leftovers at all, which is great.  Now, I can’t promise that kind of dinner every time it is our turn, but it was fun this time! lol
After everyone left, it was around 9:30 and I was pretty tired.  We put the kids to bed and I knew that I really wanted to get a run in.  I hadn’t been able to get away at all earlier in the day.  So, even though my legs felt achy and tired, I told myself to at least get on there and do one mile.  I had to get my heart rate up a little.  It had to be a start. 
So, I hopped on the treadmill and about a mile in, I started getting pain in my left knee.  It felt like my knee was just out of place.  Like the top of my leg was trying to go in one direction and the bottom of my leg in another.  I ran through it, but the pain just got worse.  I took it down to a walk by the time I hit 1.25 miles.  I walked for a minute until it felt better and then put the speed back up to 5mph.  The pain came back almost instantly.  It wasn’t the type of pain I could run through. 
I called it a night.  I at least got my 1 mile of running in for the day.  It is funny how that amount used to feel like a lot and now it feels like the bare minimum.  1 mile is better than nothing though. 
The pain went away as soon as I stopped running and today I don’t feel any pain at all.  I am hoping that it was just due to tired legs and my next run will be pain free.  We shall see.
The shower was grand and the bed was awesome….good sleep :)

I tend not to post while I am in my depressed state.  It takes a little time and it will pass and I will feel better.  But, for now I am tired, depressed, defeated, and overwhelmed.  Nothing in my life has changed much.  It is just the roller coast of my little emotional self. 

Some days I feel motivated and empowered.  And other days, not so much.  I just have to go with the flow and not beat myself up about it. 

I had plans to run last night.  I was going to put the kids to bed and get to running.  I shut the door to the kids room and walked in to the living room and laid on the floor and curled up in a blanket.  I knew the kids would holler for me or Mark soon enough.  It always takes them at least a good 10-15 minutes, sometimes more, to settle in for the night.  So, I figured I would wait there until they were quiet and then go downstairs and run on the treadmill. 

The kids holler’d and Mark went to go talk to them.  Aydan came out and was afraid of being scared during the night.  He wanted mom.  I gave him some encouragement and we sent him back off to bed.  I curled back up in the blanket and waited for the next “issue” that might arise.  No issue arose.  But, I did fall asleep. 

I certainly didn’t mean to.  But, I didn’t do much not to either.  I could have spent the time that it took the kids to settle, to get in to my running clothes, grab some water, get my mp3 player, etc.  Defeated to say the least. 

I woke up a couple hours later and decided to zone out to some hulu.  I caught up on the past three episodes of Grey’s Anatomy.  Then I was still wide awake, so I caught up on the past three episodes of Private Practice.  Back to no tv today…I really should have been sleeping.  Just because I want to escape from reality for a while, doesn’t mean I should stay up all hours of the night. 

Aydan and Peyten both woke up at one point around 1am and I had to hold them each for a bit until they went back to bed.   I laid in my bed and listened to the thunderstorm outside.  I love thunderstorms.  And how often do we get them in January?  Never. 

Time to “snap” back in to reality and stop fiddling with the fleeting thoughts going through my mind.  Endless, unfinished, pointless thoughts…
It takes one bad decision to get in a rut.  It takes two, three, four, etc to stay there. 

And I will leave you all with this little song by Noah and the Whale.  I love their music and this is one of my favorite songs by them:  L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N.

Back to work, it’s a busy day.  Small group tonight = food for the soul.  Good stuff.